Entry #24

My shitty Kickstarter about shitting

2015-01-13 02:02:34 by DeuceNine


The average person can waste up to 2.7 days a year just sitting on the toilet. ShitBags will revolutionize the way we poo, gaining all that lost time back. Just simply strap it on and you cango on the go!

Installing the ShitBag in 4 easy steps


Step 1. Place one loop of the ShitBag on your lower back.

Step 2. Secure loop with the adhesive strip.

Step 3. Stretch the bag in between your legs, looping the other loop around your erection, securing it.

Step 4. Pants.

Now instead of having to hunt down a bathroom, you can do your business anytime, anywhere. A properly installed ShitBag should look something like this:


What if I'm a girl?

This is not a product for girls because girls don't poop. If you are a girl and you do poop, simply sprout your erection because you are actually a man.



I know the average Newgrounds user. Not only do you want this, you NEED this. It's a medical requirement these days. THANKS OBAMACARE. See more on our real KICKSTARTER PAGE.


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2015-01-13 02:51:29

What happens if you lose the erection and the excrement falls out of the bag?

DeuceNine responds:

Don't lose your erection! It's that simple.


2015-01-13 03:15:37

Oh shit... shit bag!


2015-01-13 05:04:49

How did I live without one...


2015-01-13 06:39:01

Genius idea! I must donate to this on kickstarter...


2015-01-13 07:01:53

A cheap as hell wannabee diaper! this will solve all the problems of humanity.

Also for how long do i need to maintain my erection? they say that after more than 4 hours your dick may start getting gangrene... i don't know if this wonderful invention is worth risking my penis.

DeuceNine responds:

Yeah, I was trying to save humanity, but I guess Kickstarter felt we aren't ready for progress.

If you're standing for more than 4 hours, you're overdue to lay down a bit. And when you're laying down, you don't need an erection to keep the bag in place.


2015-01-13 07:11:04

This is amazing.


2015-01-13 09:08:34

Better than wallets.

DeuceNine responds:

Yeah, turds barely fit in most wallets.


2015-01-13 10:58:17

I love that this actually made it through approval. Wonder if the suspended page will stick around long-term? I would have funded that shit...bag.

DeuceNine responds:

It just goes to show that anything can really make it though, just as long as you take the time to put in all your bank information. I suppose a bag that you can shit in kinda pushed them to do something. I just wish they sent me a message explaining why it was suspended. Would have loved to read that.

Hopefully it stays up on the internet forever, frozen like that.


2015-01-13 11:05:29

XDD I love how he actually models the Shit Bag. Amazing lmao

DeuceNine responds:

:O ........ ;)


2015-01-13 11:41:15

What they suspended it?...
I just found my credit card...dammit...:(

DeuceNine responds:

It's like they straight up slapped candy from a baby's hand. You being the baby and a bag that you can shit in being the candy. :(


2015-01-13 12:37:04

28 people actually donated to it!
This is literally the best joke ever. Following you.


2015-01-13 14:26:52

Aww. Suspended.


2015-01-13 16:00:13

I'm mortified!!!...
Ahhh well back to shitting behind the sofa and blaming it on the dog I guess...:(


2015-01-13 16:55:12

I've just moved to Burbank this past weekend, and I would love the opportunity to take on an internship with you and your startup company. I've only been to one store so far, but I nabbed like forty bags. I've attached my resume and look forward to talking with you about any opportunities soon.


2015-01-13 16:58:06

holy shit I spent the last 2 hours checking all of your work, it is marvelous, your storyboarding animating and shit...but MAH MAN! I think you should start focusing on this product designinging thing! congratulations


2015-01-13 23:31:43

Hahaha "If you can hold the bag for longer than 4 hours, call a doctor." This is the best kickstarter page xD


2015-01-14 00:19:34



2015-01-14 02:58:48

There's always indiegogo.


2015-01-14 14:02:25

This is so fucking funny! I would love to see more of your excellent satire, this is gold!


2015-01-14 23:54:10

I've used this and it's actually a great product. The only problem I have is when I lose my erection and the shit rolls out the bag and down my pants. Nothing against the product though. It's great and I recommend it and I'm working out my own solution, which is basically maintaining longer lasting erections.


2015-01-15 00:20:26

Potato salad gets through but this doesn't?! What gives?


2015-01-15 13:15:44

Hahaha this is glorious!


2015-01-16 18:23:56

excellect idea.. (LOL) :D :D


2015-07-12 18:55:00

Dude, haha. This is the best KS I have ever seen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


2015-11-15 20:12:24

I'll buy one of those.