The average person can waste up to 2.7 days a year just sitting on the toilet. ShitBags will revolutionize the way we poo, gaining all that lost time back. Just simply strap it on and you cango on the go!

Installing the ShitBag in 4 easy steps

Step 1. Place one loop of the ShitBag on your lower back.

Step 2. Secure loop with the adhesive strip.

Step 3. Stretch the bag in between your legs, looping the other loop around your erection, securing it.

Step 4. Pants.

Now instead of having to hunt down a bathroom, you can do your business anytime, anywhere. A properly installed ShitBag should look something like this:

What if I'm a girl?

This is not a product for girls because girls don't poop. If you are a girl and you do poop, simply sprout your erection because you are actually a man.

I know the average Newgrounds user. Not only do you want this, you NEED this. It's a medical requirement these days. THANKS OBAMACARE. See more on our real KICKSTARTER PAGE.

Do you guys even know my name?

http://www.coldhardflash.com/2013/04/jardim-and-
nickelodeon-release-american-alligator.html

Decided to finally step up and show it off. I wanna see what people think before they ask to take it down.

I finally decided to join Deviant art. I'm still in the process of copying all my art from NG and Tumblr over to DA. Also having trouble uploading gifs there.

Does anyone know of any cool artists to follow on Deviant Art? It's a little overwhelming right now and I don't feel like having to sift through a bunch of furry bullshit in order to find some worthwhile artists. If you know of any cool artists, post them below. If you have a deviant art yourself, post that below too!

Mine is: http://henryiscrap.deviantart.com/

See you there.

If you're tired those bullshit kickstarters with that ask for more money than they're worth, then you should look into this Cantankerous Kickstarter. It's jam packed to the goddamn brim with talent by comic book artist and friend, Joe Karg, and the multi-talented Chris Bivins and Elio Guevara. The artwork on their page alone should be enough to convince you. Only $25 gets you 100 page HARDCOVER art book. I mean, damn.

Go support real indipendent artists. It makes you a better artist when you get yourself involved.

I've finally uploaded a new animation on Newgrounds. It's been a whopping 3 years since my last project. Be a dude and give it a peek and a vote.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/600570

My plan was to put it up online along with a gif for people to download, kind of like a trading card of sorts. Although tumblr is a DICK and doesn't want to accept this gif at anything higher than 6px by 6px. Bullshit right!? Anyone know how I can get around that bullshit?

Newgrounds knows how to make a site and it accepts my gif at a sexy 500px by 333px! Here ya go!

EDIT: AUDITIONS CLOSED.

Looking for a voice actor for the main and only role. This is NOT a speaking role. For that reason I will need someone who is a master at conveying vocal noises.

- Male and female voice actors welcome.
- Voice actor MUST be able to make crapping out of mouth believable and funny.

Since this is all acting and no dialogue, there is no script. The short is of a douche that is lazily going through facebook and spots someone posting a question. He then proceeds to go on wikipedia and shit facts onto his keyboard (quite literally).

Please use the .gif below as a mock animatic for the audition. If you are selected, I will send you the actual .mov which contains different shots.

I hope to hear some good crap.

And yes, I have posted thisVoice Acting Thread.

EDIT: AUDITIONS CLOSED.

I got the internship! Well... I got AN internship, rather.

I was accepted into my first choice studio which was TITMOUSE INC.!! This all happened about 4 weeks ago. Forgot to tell ya. I'm sure you care. Anyway, Titmouse is mostly famous for Metalocalypse!... Which brings me to my next point:
- You're welcome.

They for whatever reason they trusted me with the responsibility of delivering to Fedex the hard drive which contained half of the new season of Metalocalypse (which runs 22 mins now rather than 11 mins). So instead of doing a total dick move and ruining my reputation in the industry by cracking the package into the sidewalk and running off into the woods with the hard drive, I was a nice boy and delivered it. James Cameron is already making a movie of this event.

Titmouse is making other animated shows right now too, but I don't know if I can talk about it. On one of them, the lead animator is a Newgrounds veteran! I won't tell you who. I'm sure you can figure it out.

Being 4 weeks out here in LA has already taught me a lot of stuff about general LA life and the animation industry. If you remember (because I'm sure you care and I'm not just writing this like its my dear diary) I am also working with Nickelodeon... but I'm not working AT Nickelodeon. There's a big difference. One means that you can go in the building and be employed by them and interact with Nickelodeon people face to face... and the other means that they give you some money and then work you like a Korean and you stay the fuck away, you smelly Korean. Despite working with them, I still didn't get an internship there. But don't get me wrong, working with Nickelodeon is very fun and exciting. Our cartoon is looking better and better everyday (well, some parts are). It's all just very slow paced. I assume it's because they are a mega-corporation and I am some kid intern at somewhere else. I am trying to get people excited about it... maybe get some following... maybe get laid. I don't know how much I can release about the cartoon. I'll check and get back to you.

{chirp}

... Well, I'm not really GOING, per se, either...
I don't know if any of you remember or cared or still care, but about almost 2 months ago I claimed to have submitted a little somethin somethin to the Nickelodeon Animation Festival 2009. Well uhh... yeah, it did involve strangling, and yeah strangling doesn't seem to be Nickelodeon's way as many people warned me. So naturally, we should all just abandon all hope on that....... and the abandoning of all hope eeeends... NOW. Why do that? Two words: Grand Prize, faggots. Grand. Prize.

I uploaded a higher quality, longer version of it on Newgrounds for you my newgrounds pals, no matter how useless and annoying you all are! As you can tell, the VA auditions I posted some time ago resulted in General-Ivan being the Chosen One. What a swell fella!

Sorry it's less than a minute, but that's all I had. Thanks for contributing to the revival of 2D animation!

Also, I must add that LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL I GOT DA!LY 1ST N EGORAPTOR GOT DIALY 2ND LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL OMGOMG MY NEWGROUNDS AWARDS R BETTER THEN URZ!!! (This sentence is purely satirical. All comments towards the deity known as "Egoraptor" are purely for comical purposes. The author of this news post apologizes if this sentence offends any religions or creeds. Please do not hack this account, send hate mail, or take part in any sort of malicious action in regards to this sentence.)

Yeah, forceful title. But, I'm ok with it. I hope I got your attention.
EDIT: pretend the title also has the words "[...] PLUS HENTAI" in it.

I'll save everyone the chit chat about a chick's penis, or a bunch of links to gay youtube videos that have nothing to do with the title, or "newgrounds user that no one knows is leaving newgrounds". Let's for once talk about what the title of a post on the front page says: VOICE ACTING! And this time for Nickelodeon!

Nicktoons network is holding the Nickelodeon Animation Festival 2009, and like nuts I have the time to actually finish something longer than 20 seconds that will most likely lose against some Asian 23-year-old Animation student with a minor in Visual Effects. So good thing that this year they have the "15 Seconds to Fame" contest section, which is a 15 second animation of a funny gag.

Since this is only 15 seconds that I'm given, I want it to be the juiciest, tastiest, cuddliest, boobiest 15 seconds of the judges' lives. And this is going to Nickelodeon and has a chance to be shown on TV. So if you're gonna audition, give it your all! Plus I don't wanna lose to the fucking Asian guy like always. VOICE ACTING POST, GO:

Parts: 2 males; man and alligator.
[story story story story...] then man gets in his car and starts getting ready to leave. Then in the back seat, an alligator peeks up quickly and strangles the man with a rope while yelling at him.
ALLIGATOR: I warned you man! I warned you!! I have a very specific diet!!... Don't make me come back here again.
Man stays in the car crying after just being strangled.

The man doesn't have any lines, but he is more challenging (for you professional yous!). What I need for the man is sound effects of him being strangled, varying from coughing, gagging, grunting, not being able to breathe, etc. (all while strangled). I also need the sound effects of him crying with trauma in the fetal position in his car just after being strangled.

Everything is due on Sept. 8th. So DO NOT send this on like Sept. 7th or even Aug. 30th. Send as quickly as you can so we can work with it if we have to. This is for Nickelodeon, so I think it's serious this time, man. Give 'em (me) hell, guys.

Oh yeah, I forgot. You can send your stuff to pigeongrenade@gmail.com. If you already sent it some other way, its fine. I will find it. No child left behind.

Screenshots:
1. Swf
2.

First of all, you guys... it's hard to type out a yelling version of the word "assemble". It looks like "assembl-eeeeeeeeeeeeeee", and it's suppose to sound like "assemb-ooooooooooool". Just to clear everything up, the word is "assemble". ActionScript 3.0 coders, assemble.

Now, if you were illiterate 10 seconds ago and did not read the title or the first part, I need help with some akshunskript tre point oh. Everyone should be familiar with the Vcam by now, right? Well, that junk is sooooooooooooooo 2.0!! We're into the 3.0 now, grandpa! We have Vcam AS3! Psha! Like, ever heard of it?!

Anyway, Vcam AS2 is great and all, but AS2 wont let me make the Vcam into another movieclip and whatnot to make it shake. Vcam AS3 will let me do that, which is solves a lot of my problems, but it wont let me have my navigation bar. If you have seen any of my animations, you will see I always use the same navigation bar which is handy both for me and youse guys ;). The problem is that the AS2 on the navigation bar wont work on AS3.

My query: Does anyone know of or have a navigation bar in AS3? OR does anyone have a Vcam that can be put inside another movieclip in AS2?

So who's gonna the first assface to say "google.com, noob"? And who's gonna be the first one to say "google.com, noob" just because I made mention of it?

(Screenshot of what I'm working on. Perhaps this can result as a non-sexual payment, or at least trigger some curiosity if anything):